xistentiaooc | Test Drive Meme #2

Test Drive #2

I saw a flower, furrow, and brook

New TDMers are free to RP here as if "new" or "established;"
"new" is likely easier to keep in continuity after apping.

When gameplay begins, the second wave will have
their own intro plot and crash log!

CREATURES IN THE DARK

Far away from the city, the wall of light that is F.A.T.E.S. seems calm, glowing peacefully. You’re on an evening walk through the city, or maybe on a camping trip in the woods, or maybe on a romantic date on the beach; whatever it is, you’re outdoors, enjoying the apparent peace and quiet, for once.

That is, until you hear a noise. It’s a rustle, or a step, a branch breaking underfoot, a heavier sound than a human would make. And that’s when you find yourself faced with one of the many Xistentia critters: the Green Backed Bison. She's massive, with small horns and a broad, mossy back, a small calf at her side. She does not appear to want to charge you^[1], but that might change, depending on what you decide to do! Either approach it, run away, or go into aggressive mode; how will you react to being introduced to the incredible fauna of Xistentia?

Glitch in the City

The city of Xistentia now boasts a population of over 200 sentient souls! Congratulations on surviving your apocalypse, now feel free to enjoy the city and outlying forest. Today, a number of local businesses are open, including the local tailor, our diner Pop's Chocklit Shop, and Sue's Salads. For now, the only bar and lounge is the atrium of the Citadel, the outpost overlooking the sea. It's a lovely day to be out and about.

But at midday, the rendering errors begin. New arrivals, those who came into Xistentia since the second crash find themselves subject to a bizarre phenomenon, where a holographic projection seems to be floating above their head! It contains data about the character's marital status, preferences for fun and dating activities, and pet peeves... and perhaps embarrassingly, it isn't necessarily accurate.

As your daemon will explain the glitch is easy enough to fix! You can either move 100 yards from the location where it began, or another character can remove it for you by touching the graphic.

RENDERING ERROR #285
Preferred Alias: F.A.T.E.S. McWeirdo
Marital Status: Hateboning Nemesis
Preferred Dating Activity: Creating new universes, maintaining the equilibrium of the multiverse, organizing temporal divergences/alternate universes, restoring damage inflicted by D.E.S.T.I.N.Y.
Other Enjoyable Activity: DJing music
Pet Peeves: Unfiltered tap water, gluten-fee pasta, unscheduled apocalypses

Optional Code

GAME NIGHT

At 6 p.m., your Daemon starts making noise - a software update is being installed. It lasts for a few minutes, your Daemon mainly unresponsive if you attempt to make it do anything else than upload the data F.A.T.E.S. is sending it. Afterwards, it resumes acting as normal as it did before the update, but if you ask it, your Daemon will tell you:

Upgrade was installed for entertainment and integration purposes; Hangman.exe was installed.

Launch the application, and you will be given a match against one of your fellow citizens who also decided to join the game. On your holoscreen is a rudimentary, simple game of Hangman, as well as a chat window to taunt your opponent if you so choose. However, it becomes clear that F.A.T.E.S. has no idea what she's doing... the first word is 16 letters long, and she has pre-filled in the letters Z, C, and Q.

It's a good day to complain about technology, or start a new game afresh.

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

hells yeah

Footnotes

Note any violence or injury in your subject headers, thank you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He had to roll his eyes at her reaction because she wasn't the only one to have raked him over the coals for his recent fashion choice. ] Oi! It is hotter and muggier than Hades' ballsack here, so yes, flip-flops, don't be such a hater because I make them look good.

[ His toes wiggled and he huffed slightly before he took a deep drink from his glass. ] But honestly, I could use a pedicure. Haven't had one in a month, can you believe it? This place is a hellhole.

[ Honestly it was just strange to see him dressed so... casually. She was used to seeing him either in kimonos or in clothes that were much more reminiscent of his usual flare. This whole beach-going-Vex was unsettling, partly because the environment was unsettling. ]

You'll have to find someone else to give you one because it sure as shit isn't gonna be me. [ Her nose wrinkled in disgust at the mere idea. ] But are you seriously telling me you've been here for a month? How? I just got here a couple days ago.

Darling, I've been to worlds you can't even begin to dream of. [ He said with a slight grimace on his face. ] Right, so here's the story. After I nearly killed you lot with the three little piggies I got approached by a magic man who told me something along the lines of "I'll take you to paradise and all you have to do recharge the cities batteries by being intimate with people and we'll give you what you want."

Load of bollocks, right? So I laugh and say alright then, make me The Morrigan! And they're like, well that's a stupid idea, and I'm like fine then give me access to my bank accounts since Evony froze me out of them. La di da, they send me to, I shit you not, actual paradise. Big beautiful city filled with people who look like models, sandy beaches, everything you could possibly want and all I have to do is hump for my reward. Needless to say I did a lot of humping. [ He took another drink from his glass and sighed out. ] Oh those were the days...

Anyway, so I get my reward so now I'm in paradise and I'm filthy rich and I say to myself, why go back then? Dark fae, Light fae, bugger 'em all right?! Except it turns out I have to go back just to tie up some business, but then I go back to paradise and I'm staying there for bloody good. I'd been there nearly a full year, then this Destiny shit happened and here I am.

So that's my story, what's yours? [ Very summed up, sloppy and with a lot of hand gestures but that was Vex. ]

[ Tamsin has heard and seen a lot in all her years, but the idea of some magical paradise where all your dreams come true if you hump like bunnies? That's pretty high on the "Are you crazy?" list. But she couldn't deny that he looked different from the last time she'd seen him (and, she noticed now, also had both his hands attached which was definitely a change) and it wasn't as though there weren't beings out there that could mess with time.

In fact, she'd just spent far longer than she'd like to think about trapped in a loop of the same day before the world went up in flames around her.

Resting an elbow on the bar and her chin in her hand, Tamsin angled toward Vex as he spoke, brow furrowed deeply as she listened to his lengthy tale. It was a lot to take in. ] I celebrated Yule so many times in the same tweny-four hours that I lost count of how often time reset. [ Shifting into a more upright position, she leaned in closer to Vex, her eyes looking intently over his features. ] You really spent almost an entire year in some magical paradise, getting your rocks off the entire time?

[ Both hands and a wedding ring- thank you very much. Then again, Vex was no stranger to flashy jewelry on his ring finger, it'd never meant anything before so why should it now?

At the mention of Yule he burst out laughing. ]

Y'know I barely remember a thing about that night?! I woke up with a massive hangover and both my hands, so it must've been bloody fantastic.

[ His eyes widened slightly when she leaned in, the curve of his mouth growing wider. He was good at pretending, but that close she could likely tell that he hadn't slept in weeks, the dark circles around his eyes were a dead giveaway. ]

I did. Wanna know who I got my rocks off the most with? I'll give you a hint: It rhymes with Tyson's bun.

[ Although that doesn't quite explain how Vex got his hand back, at least Tamsin now knew that 1) he remembered the night of Yule and 2) he got his hand back at home, not... wherever this paradise place was.

Tamsin's eyes narrowed somewhat as she considered that. There were two options that came to mind: Dyson's bum, or Dyson's hun, and the latter didn't sit well with her at all. In fact, it had her heart twisting somewhat in her chest, but she hid it by letting out a bark of disbelieving laughter. ]

Bo? You're kidding me, right?

Are you mad?!

[ His reaction was quick, a grimace- despite the fact that he had indeed had Bo a few times and it was bloody fantastic and he'd do it again in a heartbeat, but the fact that Tamsin got it SO WRONG made him react that way.

He shook his head rapidly. ]

What the hell are you rhyming?! I'm talking about Dyson's son.

Dyson's-- [ While that made her feel a bit better, it did nothing to lessen her confusion. In fact, all it did was ramp it up about twenty notches. ] What are you talking about? Dyson doesn't have a son.

[ There was not enough whiskey for this. ]

That so-called paradise must've knocked something lose in that skull of yours...

Oh yes, what am I thinking? Because you and Dyson are such bosom-buddies and he tells you everything... [ Rolls. His. Eyes. ]

Trust me, darling. I know what I'm talking about. I didn't get his 'you better not hurt my son or I'll kill you' talk for nothing.

[ The expression on Tamsin's face probably gave away exactly what she was thinking at that moment: Why in the hell does Vex have to be the first one from home that I find here? He's going to give her a migraine, she's certain. ]

Whatever. I'll just find him and ask him about it, see what he says.

Or you can take my bloody word for it and stop acting like you're halfway up Dyson's arse for once. How's the view up there, lovey!?

[ He retorted with as much hostility as he could muster, which was quite a bit, because he happened to be missing Dyson's son terribly and he didn't need Tamsin calling him a liar on top of it all. ]

But if you're so bent on not believing me then ask Kenz, she's the only other one here from your world. [ Yes your not our, he definitely made that distinction. ]

Test Drive Meme #2

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what a verbose motherfucker he is.

he loves to hear himself talk

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