Test Drive Meme #8 (NSFW)

[spoofer]

Test Drive Meme #8

I believe in the death of tomorrow

INTRODUCTION ⇄ FAQ ⇄ APPLICATIONS

CRASH LANDING

Exit one dimension, enter the next. It was chaos: pressure against your ears, light bending in an impossible, unimaginable way. The very molecules of your body vibrating against one another. If you have windows, the view outside makes no sense. Even if not, your hands, your face, your feet seem like an uncertain thing. It's the feel of reality itself tearing apart, reshaping, reconnecting, thread by thread.

And suddenly, there's a beach— or ocean, whichever you land in. Smoke. Fire. Salt water churning up, fizzing around, almost at odds with the layer of thick snow over everything.


Maybe you crash, in a ship wrecking into sand. Maybe you merely stumble out of a portal, a ragged wormhole in space. Or maybe you fall off the back of an incredible steed, some creature that carried you into this place. Either way, there's pandemonium around you. Incredibly, severe injuries are far and few between— nobody's screaming about the dead. But you might have to help pull someone free of wreckage, or move quickly to salvage burning belongings from the landing craft. Maybe it's the crafts themselves, that you're trying to salvage.

Likely, you don't know them, these other strangers who arrived here^[1]. Maybe you don't trust them— you just came out of a dying world, after all. But you all have one thing in common: you're here now.

When you get a second to breathe, maybe you'll see it. The snowy forest across the sand. Beyond that, the glint of a faraway city.

Dinner with a Succubus (NSFW)

Your first dinner party in Xistentia^[2] is a sumptuous and luxurious dinner that takes place at the private residence of one of the natives.

As you step in, the first thing you notice is the scent of indigenous flowers mingled with the floating traces of savory and sweet from the elaborate buffet set up on the side. Treats from around the Multiverse.



However, sectioned off from these public areas, there are spaces reserved for sexual activity. It's not so surprising, when you remember that the lights outisde, the power behind the city itself, runs off human emotional interaction— and desire is a powerful emotion indeed. These rooms feature every conceivable surface you might want to tangle on, from silk to lacquered desks, to rubber.

Chests hold sundry toys and other equipment. Rooms have beds sized comfortably from anywhere from one to five people, and there are peepholes. Everything is marked with painted symbols in a language that is known to no one person, but somehow universally comprehensible.

NETWORK

Xistentia now has its own 'friending app.' You can use it to make connections with new people! But beware, your daemon may well post without your permission, and things could get pretty embarrassing.

F.A.T.E.S. thought it was a pretty good pun: Synchr. Get it? Like sinker? Hook, line, and?


TEMPLATE
Select and copy the code below, paste into your entry. (The font is tiny for ease of copying!)

<raw-code><center><div style="background: url('https://i.imgur.com/LMmsp9R.jpg'); margin: auto; width: 300px; height: 500px; padding: 30px; border-radius: 20px;"><div style="font-family: Arial Narrow, sans serif; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 28px; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; border-bottom-style: groove; border-bottom-color: #999; border-bottom-width: 1px; line-height: 16px" align="center"><i><b>synchr</b></i></div>

<div style="width: 275px; height: 275px; border: 5px solid #b7d1ae; border-radius: 170px; padding: 0px; margin: 15px auto"><div style="background: url('http://i.imgur.com/i0hSO7K.gif'); background-size: cover; width: 225px; height: 225px; border-radius: 180px; padding: 25px; background-position: center;"><div style="background: url('** YOUR PROFILE PICTURE URL HERE **'); background-size: auto 220px; border-radius: 130px; width: 223px; height: 223px; padding-top: 223px; border: 1px dotted #000"></div></div></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial Narrow, sans serif; text-transform: uppercase; margin-top: -10px; text-align: center; color: #000;"><b>NAME</b> ▐ AGE</div>

<div style="height: 120px; background: url('https://i.imgur.com/m5GzmXX.png'); overflow-y: auto; margin: 5px auto; border-radius: 6px; padding: 10px">
</raw-code>** INSERT YOUR PROFILE CODE HERE **

<raw-code></div></div>

<div style="clear: both"></div></div>
<br />
<center><table><tr><td style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span> </td><td style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span></div></td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: center"><big><big><big><b>YES</big></big></big></b><br />
<textarea><span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span></textarea></td><td style="text-align: center"><big><big><big><b>NO</big></big></big></b><br />
<textarea><span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span></textarea></td></tr></table></center></center></raw-code>

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

hells yeah

Footnotes

1. Some of these can be nameless, plot-device NPCs to facilitate interactions! But even in this case, please avoid gore in describing their current state of being. Anyone dead or catastrophically injured will have disappeared by the time your characters make it to Xistentia. There are no corpses or dying here.
   
   
2. If you decide to join the game, this party may be patched over into the sex-themed Gala detailed in the announcement. The IC log is already up, but friends-locked!

Comments

dave strider | homestuck

[chumpelstiltskin]

i. crash landing
[Dave has lived in surprising peace for the past few months, but he's always on his toes. For good reason, considering his life is a never-ending marathon of relentless bullshit.

As he last recalls, he'd been meandering uselessly around Earth C when he'd missed a step somewhere. Now, missing a step on the way down the stairs usually feels like you're falling through dimensions, but the prickling, nauseating feeling overstays its welcome. Dave feels intensely uncomfortable, and what amounts to about thirty seconds feels like about 30 years of discomfort before it relents and he feels himself fall again.

Suddenly, the view below him is a sandy beach and not a flight of stairs. That sandy beach is rapidly approaching and before he knows it, his face is colliding with it. Dave falls flat on his front, legs kicking up behind him from the momentum before they drop in a defeated manner.

He's not dead, but he's not moving.]

ii. dinner
[It's been a long time since Dave has had food of this quality before. A bunch of young adults who left home at around 13 are not the best chefs, but damn do they try. At least some of them do, Dave is still trying to gain the finesse it takes not to burn toast.

He's trying not to look too ridiculously eager, but he can't help himself.]

This chicken. [Dave says, extending the leg out, talking to nobody in particular.] This.. actually, I don't even know if it's chicken. Actually I don't know if I even remember what real chicken tastes like. But whatever intergalactic Colonel was responsible for this has divine powers or some shit.

[Dave helps himself to another bite, seemingly happy to talk to himself like he's not at a party.

He still has a plate of food in his hand when he starts to peer around the areas. He's beginning to realise he probably shouldn't be here with a hefty plate of food. He feels like Gordon Ramsey just stumbled into a frat party, and now he can't remember where he came from. He shuffles awkwardly around, holding the plate of food like it gives him a sense of purpose.]

iii. network

synchr

dave strider ▐ 19

i picked it because it was ugly not out of self reflection

✓	✕
YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-s

[ ii ]

[partridgicide]

It's chicken.

[ says the bird. ]

[chumpelstiltskin]

[Oddly, talking to a talking bird is not the weirdest thing about this situation.

Dave narrows his eyes behind his sunglasses.]

Don't look at me like that, I saw a gif of a sparrow eating chicken out of a deli once. You guys are cold.

[He doesn't even know if he's getting a "look", he just assumes.]

[partridgicide]

[ It's hard to read a bird, it's true. Especially this fat bird. Who is wearing a tie. ]

I hardly see what is so cold about the delegation of resources and the necessity of protein.

[chumpelstiltskin]

[Dave doesn't know this bird, but he would die for him and his tie.]

So true, there's nothing cold about rationalizing cannibalism out of practicality. [He's being sarcastic, but he sounds sincere.]

Are you going to partake in the spoils, McDuck? Or are you only here to serve out facts?

[partridgicide]

[ Careful. He might take you up on that offer. ]

No. I am here mostly to observe the effects on the food among humans.

[ And maybe poison a few people. The night is young. ]

[chumpelstiltskin]

Are you a bird scientist? Is this your first contact with humans, or are you from an alternate world where birds are quietly observing us from the shadows, looking to overthrow us with a bird empire?

The tie is a nice touch, by the way. Brings the whole professional bird-scientist look together. [And it's really cute.]

[partridgicide]

[ Shuu doesn't even blink. Can he blink??? ]

I am a school doctor. As for humans, they have mostly died out due to their own ineptitude. A few survive in small pockets around the world and defer to our government.

[chumpelstiltskin]

School doctor. At a school for birds. [Dave needs to say it out loud, so that he can wrap his head around it.]

You know, other than the bird dystopia thing, I'm not really surprised. I mean, humanity already fucked itself in the ass where I come from, but we got wiped out because of meteors. [He pauses, like he's just realised something. Quietly:] Like dinosaurs.

[partridgicide]

[ Yep. Like dinosaurs. ]

A virus wiped out humanity. In an attempt to counteract it, they created another virus and killed themselves off even further and improved on bird physiology.

I suppose we should be grateful.